Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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