So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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