i jhust puked up my retainher.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
