I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
