what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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