I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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