Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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