And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
