I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
