He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
