What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
