i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
