Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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