I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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