If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
