just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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