Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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