Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
