Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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