So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
