so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
