Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Quick, to the slutcave!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
