Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
