He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
