Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My liver is preforming stress tests.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
