last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
