Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
