don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
