I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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