Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
