In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
