So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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