forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
