why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
