it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
