Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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