Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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