I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
