No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
