evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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