yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
