Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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