I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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