Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
