we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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