just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
