people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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