Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
