Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
