I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
