i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
