i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
