I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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