You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
