i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
