I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He better not be in your backpack
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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