I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
