I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
