she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
